Good morning, dear fans of the.e.t. Today I’m going to tell you all about my virginity and how I lost it in London last weekend. Obviously I’m not talking about my sexual virginity (I’m 32 years old, Mum, I’m allowed to practice sex), but about my first time doing… well… London stuff. You see, one of my best friends moved to London a couple of years ago, which means I’ve been visiting him and the city several times a year for the past four years or so. Which means I’ve seen a lot of London. However, dear friends, there were some things I had never done before. Can you imagine I had never been to Oxford Streets’ Topshop, Selfridges or Primark before? Nor had I ever had the pleasure of Afternoon Tea before. Anyway, that all changed last weekend…

Before we go any further I have to thank Eurostar for giving me two tickets (business premier that is!) Brussels-London-Brussels and for hooking me and my girlfriend up with a hotel reservation (must say though that Premier Inn would not be my choice of hotel, that being said: it was free, so shut up, ego.tripper!). Anyway, on the agenda: losing my virginity at famous Oxford Street shops, a museum visit, Afternoon Tea, food and drinks with my buddy and his wife, … Doesn’t that sound like the perfect weekend? Yes, until you enter Primark. My God, ladies and gents, what the hç!! was that? Women and girls screaming, fighting over cheap skirts and shirts, racing trough the store, not caring about anything but cheap fabrics, weird prints and designs and stuff no one really needs. Losing this virginity felt like being poked with a huge black dildo. What’s wrong with you people! How can you make Topshop look like the calmest shop in town?

Anyway, after witnessing the shopocalypse with my own eyes, me and the bird went to the lovely Haymarket Hotel for Afternoon Tea. Their beautiful Brumus restaurant (1 Suffolk Place) was ready to host the.ego.tripper in style. As I said, I never tried Afternoon Tea or High Tea before. I always thought it was a girly thing, with sweet stuff, sandwiches, chocolates, sponge, fruit cake, all served on beautiful and elegant… erhmm… what’s the name of this thing? Anyway, I LOVED IT! It was savoury, it was sweet, it came with a glass of delicious champagne. There was a cinnamon doughnut, a gateau, black cherry fondant, spinach and ricotta puff pastry, smoked salmon, salt beef, … And tea! This was the opposite of Primark: classy, chique, quiet, delicious, cosy!

During the weekend I lost my virginity one more time. You see, I had never been to the V&A before, the Victoria and Albert Museum. Beautiful building, interesting collection of old stuff (sorry, go to their website and check what they have, it’s honestly too much to sum up here) and an eighties exhibition. Nice! But even nicer is the proximity of Harrods. Oh my God, don’t you just love Harrods? Almost bought five Harry Potter wands in their toy department (by the way: their toy department is almost as impressive as Hamleys!).

Damn, I’ve already written too much, haven’t I? And I still haven’t said anything about the food and drinks. I’ll keep it short and simple: Flesh&Buns and Detroit Bar. Trendy Seven Dials, that is!

the.ego.tripper loves family resorts, bingo, kids peeing in the pool, breakfast buffets, hotel animation, tourist traps and group day tours.

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