“Dear Mister the.ego.tripper, how can I be just as cool as you?” I get this question a lot. And I always answer with: “You can’t.” Then I look away to an imaginary friend and whisper: “What is he thinking? Com’on!” But then, when this person buys me a beer, I tell him/her that he/she can never reach this level of coolness, but the least he/she can do is try. By wearing the right outfit. And that’s why I’m offering you my list of summer essentials. No charge. Pure altruism. Here we go…

First of all, ladies and gentlemen, you need a cool ‘suitcase’ or a cool piece of luggage. For years I had been using an old backpack, which served me well at the time, but looking back it was a mistake. Cause it was not cool enough. Or practical. On my recent trip to Cambodia and Thailand I noticed backpackers don’t necessarily carry backpacks anymore. Of course a lot of them still do, because they consider themselves backpackers and wanna look like backpackers. But if you think about it: it’s just not that handy, is it? If you don’t put the thing you’re looking for in a compartment of your backpack, you’ll be digging in and searching for it for half an hour. And worse: the way your clothes eventually come out of the backpack… Yuck. You’ll look like a backpacker. And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, I have put my faith in Herschel. To be more precise: in the Herschel Outfitter bag. It has a compartment for shoes, for dirty laundry and enough space to keep the rest of your clothes nice and tidy. You can carry the Outfitter around the shoulder, but also as a backpack. Yes, best of both worlds. It’ll cost you anywhere between 79 and 149.95 euros. A bargain!

Secondly, ladies and gentlemen – and when I say ladies and gentlemen I mean only gentlemen: this summer you will have to wear the coolest of boxershorts and swimming trunks. Cause you know… you’re best buddy will be inside it, so suit him up in a PULL-IN! I personally really like the exotic jungle theme. Be prepared to pay 30 or 40 euros per pair of boxers and 90 euros for swimming trunks.

Thirdly, gentlemen, you will have to wear Ben Sherman this summer. And to be more precise: the umbrella collection. You see, you think of yourself as a post ironic hipster and what could be more post ironic than an umbrella print in summer time? Well, nothing really. So get yourself to the shop and buy a shirt, a t-shirt, a polo, a wifebeater… Anything with this umbrella print basically. If they happen to be sold out, the bug print makes for a nice alternative (although it’s a bit harder to be post ironic about bugs in summertime).

Fourthly (is this a word?), gentlemen: shorts. I recommend you take a look at the new Fred Perry collection. Why? Check it out:

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the.ego.tripper loves family resorts, bingo, kids peeing in the pool, breakfast buffets, hotel animation, tourist traps and group day tours.

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